Vulnerability in leadership is not the end of your authority – but often the beginning.
"Show from the beginning, who has the final Say.
Do you realize that you don't like it.“
Such phrases I hear again and again.
Some of you say it with Conviction.
Others with a queasy feeling.
A Coachee of me had just taken on a new leadership position. His supervisor gave him this advice:
make an example of them.
Hardness show.
Respect you give – if necessary, by fear.
And he asked me:
"What if I can't? Don't want to?
What if I want it not do, and therefore all the more disappointing that believe in me?“
I said to him:
"Or do you show them that it can be done differently.
That success can have many faces.
Yours too.“
This article is about that. From fear, to be yourself in a role that is programmed to hardness. Stefan, a classical career. And the question of how to show vulnerability without losing yourself.
Stephen's story: If success is to be in the company of an old costume
Stefan is ambitious. Disciplined. One never hesitates for a long time. Since his Dual studies in 2004, he was on the way to the top – management career, talent program, an international logistics company. He knew: Who is analytically strong, attacks, power calls, is progressing. And that is exactly what he did.
But with the years the game has changed. His Team is not responding as quickly as before. Kund:indoor moved. Three of his best people announced increases – despite the content. It was getting harder and harder to be "the smartest Person in the room".
Then, a leadership training came. A course, the outline something in him. There you spoke of psychological safety. Feedback. From a culture in which mistakes may have to be Yes, so that Innovation can occur. Stefan mind: If I want my Team, I need to start.
The internal Leadership conflict: Strong affect, or be open?
As Stefan grabbed at the end of the course, his bag, he was upset. He didn't know what to do, but how. Because to understand something, this is a. To live it to the other.
How do you show vulnerability without appearing weak?
How to open up, without losing authority?
What moved him, moved many leaders. We all have old pictures in us: by the enforcement of strong, by Controlling, by the "Leading". Who otherwise shows – uncertainty, doubt, willingness to learn – risked the felt immediately Label: not suitable.
The research shows long: leadership, which creates psychological safety, is a long-term successful. Vulnerability is not a risk. It is a resource.
🔥 5 pulses for the Power of vulnerability for your leadership style
1. Making learning visible
We all know in theory that errors are part of it.
But if it is concrete – new Software, complex presentation, unusual interview – do a lot of like you had everything under control.
The cripples.
In a project team, an NGO such as the team leader spoke after a failed Launch open to:
"I thought I had picked up enough of the stakeholders. I had not. This is now on my feet and I'll take that my Cap.“
This attitude was no self-flagellation, but the starting point for a joint learning system.
Not: Who's to blame? Who are the culprits?
But What we lacked and what we do differently next Time?
Tip: Get regular formats in which not only successes, but also learning effects to be celebrated. This is a "Learning of the Month can be" in the Department of round or a short Slack-Post with the title "#I this week I learned“.
2. Key share moments
If people know you as the confident, controlled, leadership, it creates distance.
Who you are is invisible.
In a medium-sized IT company, a Head of Development began to start his Jour-Fixes with small, personal stories.
Once he told how he had calls in a previous Job, from a fear of rejection, never an increase in salary and years later realized that it had marked.
It was silent in the room.
These small revelations can have a big effect.
Show: You're not infallible – you're learning.
And the others should be too.
Tip: Ask yourself, what are the 1-2 turning points in your career you're ready to. Moments in which you doubt, and something Important to know.
3. As a leader, Feedback, minimizing the seriousness
In many organizations, Feedback is part of the ritual – once-a-year, with Evaluation forms, tense Silence.
The Problem: It is made of large. Rarely. To be overly intellectual.
In a Scale-up from the field of education, a young HR Manager 5-minutes-Check a led-ins. Every Thursday, is always the same:
"What went well this week?"
"Where'd you get me more support?"
"What do you want to try?"
The talks lasted rarely longer than an Espresso.
But you opened.
And they took the topic of Feedback, the Heavy.
Tip: Start small. An honest "What would you have otherwise requested?" after a Meeting is enough.
It is important that you defend, but easy to hear. And acknowledge.
4. Trust and listen to, without reacting immediately
We often think we have to say something. Argue. To classify.
Real listening is often the Bravest.
A CEO, I was allowed to accompany, sat in the All-Hands Meeting, a staff member openly criticized the fact that decisions were often communicated to late and non-transparent.
You looked at the CEO, that it hit him.
But he remained silent. Breathed.
Then he said:
"The sitting. And I will take it with me – not as a reproach, but as a Wake-up call.“
This reaction has changed more than a ten-Change-memo.
Tip: If you trigger something – counting internally to 5. Ask yourself: do I classify this now? Or it may just stay standing there for?
5. A model instead of a sermon
Many executives tell their Teams, the importance of error management culture and openness.
But if you get self-time Feedback, it will quickly ignored defensive or elegant.
An example of a global pharmaceutical companies:
The head began, each team meeting with a "I was wrong"Moment.
It was an ambitious deadline, a careless formulation, a missed demand in the job interview.
You didn't make it dramatic.
But visible.
After three months, others began to share their "Verpeiler".
Not because they had to.
But because you were.
Tip: You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be real. And the hold space when others will also.
💡 5 Deep-Dive impulses of psychology & science
💡 Why we advise you rather be wise than to feel
We take refuge in analysis, strategy and clever language, especially if it is emotional.
It protects us from having to feel.
Brené Brown calls the "emotional" Dodge: We control others, or the Situation than to confront us with our own uncertainty.
But that's exactly where connection begins: if we stop hiding – behind Expertise.
💡 Why we have in ourselves blind spots
The Dunning-Kruger Effect describes that people overestimate with little Knowledge of their abilities often, while competent persons to doubt more.
In leadership this means that, The loudest, the most competent and the reflected voices are not always often the most quiet.
Vulnerability helps, this warp breaking: Who is shown as a learning:r, invites others to reflect honestly, and to be even more courageous.
💡 Vulnerability ≠ Weakness
Amy Edmondsons studies on the psychological safety it is clear: vulnerability builds trust – when it is embedded in a culture of responsibility and openness.
This does not mean to share any uncertainty immediately and to unsettle the team members.
But be aware: I don't have all the answers. But I'm ready to learn how to listen, and to be better together.
Authentic.
Vulnerable.
With a "Yes" to the positive culture of Feedback.
💡 Psychological safety is economically relevant
Google's Research Project “Project Aristotle” about two years, which is a high-performance team was looking for.
The result was clear: the most important is the feeling to be able without fear to Express is.
More important than intelligence, education, or structure.
Vulnerability is not a feel-good theme – you could be a Business Case, an economic Superpower!
💡 How the language of our self-image is formed
Carol Dwecks "Growth Mindset"(English 10-minute TED Talk about the "not yet") is more than a concept of education.
It shows that people may learn to see your mistakes as a development step of developing long-term resilience and innovation.
And that starts with managers who speak yourself – with yourself and with others.
What's next?
You're ready, you and other build up in the you wanted to show vulnerability?
You're in the mood to encourage others in their authenticity?
Do you want to practice modern management, you vulnerable to show and demonstrate to admit mistakes?
Sometimes the own vulnerability also means Limits to take this more seriously. Vulnerable is just in analytically oriented company is essential and has nothing to do with "weaknesses" to.
I wish you much success and, above all, fun to practice vulnerability as a strength in your current work environment (or in the Private openly deal with what makes you anxiety).
Literature
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly. Gotham Books.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
Edmondson, A. C. (1999). Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350-383.
Google re:Work. (n. d.). Project Aristotle. https://rework.withgoogle.com/print/guides/5721312655835136/
Kruger, J., & Dunning, D. (1999). Unskilled and unaware of it: How difficulties in recognizing one's own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(6), 1121-1134.
English 
German