"Emotional Men" is hopefully a touching Text on modern fathers, emotional presence and the quiet Revolution of men, the show really. With pulses for a new father, and men image.
A thanks goes deeper
It is father's day.
And I want to say Thank you.
Not the lukewarm "Thank you, Thank you taking out the garbage to bring and the Buggy push" -.
But the real. The depth.
For you. For men like you.
For fathers, the go in the morning, get up early,
the balancing act between Job, children, partnership, and yourself.
For fathers, do not complain, although you can sometimes hardly breathe.
For fathers, the da –
even if you have never learned how to be real close to the touch.
For those who are struggling in the night with a screaming baby,
then at 7 PM in the Meeting sit,
and still ask if you can meet your relationship as a Partner.
For the, the silence in conversations often, because you lack the words.
Not because you have nothing to say.
But because no one was ever a zuhörendes role of image, than you have learned how men are supposed to be.
A look back: My own father
I grew up in a loving household size.
Mother's nurse, after two months of Parental leave, back in the hospital.
Daddy electro-technician, full-time, on-the-go.
My memory of how he moves, after work, two chairs together, and for the first 15 minutes power NAP.
We had a little bit of Abundance, but a lot of stability.
There were limits. There was love.
There was the feeling that I'm held – even if not everything was pronounced.
And even if much of it is unspoken, there was something tangible.
A space in which I could grow.
A Foundation that still bears today, even though I understood only later.
Years later, now as a man, as a son, as a father, I know,
like a lot of work behind this feeling is.
How much Invisible.
How much the waiver.
How much the "I did it for you" – sometimes without knowing how to ask what is needed.
How many sleepless nights. How many unanswered questions. How much adjustment, even to the Unspoken.
The men between the worlds
And I see men who are right there.
Between Generations.
Between Role Expectations.
Between emotional intelligence and the lack of connection to the emotional life.
Between "I'm doing so much" and "I have no idea what Attachment at all means. I am overwhelmed!“.
I see how you fight.
As you give.
How to lose sometimes, and still gets up to leave.
I see you.
Not loud, not dramatically.
But step by step.
Sometimes in reverse. Sometimes in a circle.
But always with the desire to come closer to yourself.
Why it's still not enough
And yet it is not enough.
Not yet.
Because women are still the majority of Care Work wear.
Because emotional labor is often outsourced.
Because many men think that they are present but have undocked on the inside for a long time.
Because it takes courage to recognize their own absences. And to rename it.
Because children today need more than just supply.
You need presence. Softness. Reflection. Emotion.
They need good role models. Fathers are themselves in the conversation.
The ready old patterns, to have, from behind the questions.
The show: I'm learning to love you without losing myself.
The real gift to get to know
And that is the real gift:
You're not doing for others on the way –
but also for yourself.
You can learn how to be soft to without losing your strength.
To be clear without being harsh.
To lead, to control without.
And to love, not to mention yourself.
I am writing to you today to coach you.
I write because I see you.
Because I know how much you wear it –
and how little you're talking about maybe about it.
Because I can feel your longing to finally be whole. Without A Mask. No Pressure.
I write because I believe:
When men show honestly changed more than any Quote ever could.
Because authentic men don't have to be loud, to have influence.
But still. Real. Present.
So thank you.
For your love. For your use.
For your courage to the development.
And for your mistakes. For the rings. For the moments in which you don't know, but still stay.
And for everything you're not but want to be.
Thanks to all of the men – with and without children
But maybe you are reading this and have not (yet) children.
Or your kids are already big.
Or you never had the Chance to be a father – or you've missed.
Then I want to tell you:
It is not too late to be a "father".
Because being a Father is more than biology.
More than custody, diaper Kita-parents night switch.
Father means: the room. Orientation.
Love without holding on.
Listen to solve without it.
Be there – for others. For you.
Maybe you're a Mentor. Friend. Partner. Or just a man who didn't want to put away his heart.
Maybe you were emotionally absent and now you want to be closer.
Maybe you think that you have missed everything – but that's not true.
Then this Thank you is for you, too.
Just you.
Because you don't show that development ceases.
That love is not bound to genes.
You model want to be for sons, daughters and future generations.
That masculinity is allowed to grow in a healthy way – at any age.
And it's never too late to say I'm ready, to love differently.
But since your doing is not to read to change – here are five ideas for how you this Knowledge in everyday life can translate.
Emotional Intelligence? 5 ideas on how you can stay
- Regularly Check-in with yourself: Ask yourself: have I been today really there? Not only physically, but internally, with inner strengthAnger, tears, and the ability for self-reflection? An honest inherent to move more than any book, any Blog can keep the article.
- Talk to another man about feelings: A Friend. A Brother. A Colleague. Nothing Big. Maybe just: "Hey, that was hard for me." That's enough. And opens.
- Write your child or a letter for your father: You don't have to send it. But you'll look at them differently, if you're trying to write to be honest. Without Make-Up. Without Excuses.
- Ask yourself the question: What is my inner child needs me today? Not then. Now. Maybe Recognition. Maybe Peace. Maybe finally a place.
- Pick carries a structure that you: Whether a men's circle, a Coach, a Ritual. Development needs space. And Repeat. Not only insight, but attitude. Others who were able to fill their father's role as emotionally intelligent men – or the emotional maturity to do that. Others Express their need for attention with self-confidence. And still respect that sadness, Serenity, you history show vulnerable or a sense of Humor, often close to each other.
And what the science says, the Positive psychology of this Situation?
Psychological perspectives on the new masculinity, and emotional men
- Why we are better than honestly feel: Many men have been socialized to do with the message: "the feelings you weak." Studies show that emotional suppression in the long term lead to increased Stress and relationship problems (Mahalik et al., 2007). In particular, when emotions have to endure rather than be communicated.
- Why do we have with ourselves blind spots: The so-called "emotional Alexithymia" – the inability to identify feelings and concerns of men significantly more often (Levant et al., 2013).
- Why Care work Help, but responsibility is: Men who help out in the family, does not reproduce an unconscious Narrative (or conflict) that Care work is not actually your area (Hochschild & Visualization, 2012). They respond in their alleged capacity as a supplier on the Mental Load their partners, which often leads to a dispute.
- Why connectedness is not the result of power: Emotional security is not produced by To-dos, but by the emotional availability – and with a presence, listening, compassion (Brown, 2014).
- Why Transformation is not male or female, but human: Resilience means: to be vulnerable AND clear. Integrated. All (Neff, 2011). The key is not in the gender. But to each other appreciateto be sensitive to the environment and to find his Best and to give.
And here's a tip to Start: one's own emotions, allowing one's own emotions – this is easier said than done. Often a challenge. Even for me as a psychologist with pockets full of training.
More attention to the signs your body, and acceptance for your human understanding, and for you to promote to be. For others.
Literature
- Brown, B. (2014). Vulnerability makes us strong: our protection mechanisms give up and inside be (S. Blaschke, TRANS.). Kailash.
- Hochschild, A. R., & Holder, A. (2012). The Second Shift: Working Families and the Revolution at Home. Penguin Books.
- Levant, R. F., Allen, P. A., & Lien, M. C. (2013). Alexithymia in Men: How and When Do Emotional Processing Deficiencies Occur. Psychology of Men & Masculinity 2014, Vol. 15, No. 3, 324-334.
- Mahalik, J. R., Burns, S. M., & Syzdek, M. (2007). Masculinity and perceived normative health behaviors as predictors of men's health behaviors. Social Science & Medicine, 64(11), 2201-2209.
- Neff, K. D. (2012). Self-compassion: How do we reconcile with our weaknesses and ourselves for best friend. Kailash.
- Perspective Daily (2025). This is how we raise better men. (Recall: 6.6.2025)
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